Friday, August 25, 2017

How Not to Evacuate a Texan

New proposition: instead of naming hurricanes on an alphabetical boy/girl system, let's call them according to whatever will appropriately intimidate the people who need to evacuate. If we had called this one Hurricane Post-Game Traffic, Texas would be deserted clear up through Abilene.

Also: 'evacuate' is a wussy word. Nobody with a Winchester and an ounce of self-respect wants to think of themselves as retreaters. Next time you need to move a mass of rednecks, NOAA, drop the Frenchery and call it a 'Yankee raid'.

Now lock up and light out down there, y'all - shit's going to get Biblical.

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