Monday, June 19, 2017

Midnight Confession II

I don't know why, but I'm having a really hard time taking off the red hat and being a real person again. It is just such a thrill to go out into the world to delight and disgust the unsuspecting masses - and SO hard to go back to all those other less-fun feelings that you just can't put off forever. Fear and sadness are dragging me something fierce today.

I tell you what, though: this weekend was just a hell of a thing. It was such a revelation to meet someone who is everything I want to be when I grow up - who has built her identity on love and realness and unstoppable charisma, both as an author and a teacher - and who is massively, awardfully, bestsellerly successful as a result. I mean, I was going to keep at it regardless... but what a blessing it is to have artisanal human proof that it CAN be done.

Tangentially: it is a special kind of shocking when you meet somebody who seems to see your entire self. We are so accustomed to spinning our hexagonal heads around to meet the world with whichever face the present audience expects (partner, employee, parent, friend, whatever) - and not at all prepared to encounter someone who speaks affectionately and directly to our raw living core. I totally get it now, and I’m sorry I didn’t before.

Anyway. Keep at that relentless, visceral person-work, y'all. Riding herd on all those stampeding feels will wear your ass right out, and STILL beats the alternative by a country mile.

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